The Overemotional Brunch

August 5, 2012

      So...this is an awkward post describing an awkward situation lived through by an awkward person. (I'm sure you're wondering how that makes this post different from any other one about my daily life but, unfortunately, it is.) I've had some trouble beginning blog posts lately, and this one is no exception. If anything, this one is the most difficult to begin because it is also the most difficult to write. I guess I should just stop beating around the bush and set the scene.
     My family and I were eating brunch at a Mexican restaurant in downtown San Diego. Despite my recent venture into veganism, I was starving and so therefore ordered a veggie-packed omelet. (Eggs and dairy, I know, but traveling always incurs certain restrictions.) The omelet, as originally designed, also contained ham. However, when I ordered it, I asked that the ham be taken out and replaced with spinach.
      As I took my first bite, everything was perfect and delicious. The mushrooms, spinach, peppers, avocado, and yes, even cheese, melted together and complemented each other in the most lovely way. I was in omelet heaven, a place I seldom allow myself to visit these days. (I just want to state that I still believe wholeheartedly in the reasons that I've been mostly abstaining from eggs and dairy. I truly do believe that this lifestyle is healthier, but my ravenous stomach forces me to make compromises until I officially take my vow of veganism.) At any rate, I was chomping along happily down breakfast road when I met an unexpected obstacle. Towards the end of my omelet, I took a bite and almost immediately realized a new taste addition. Suddenly, my already delicious omelet had climbed a couple of notches on the tasty ladder. It took me only a few chews to recognize the identity of the new ingredient, which I had not tasted in five years.
      I was eating ham. I was spitting out ham. I was crying.
      I wasn't drowning my plate in saltwater or anything, but I did start to tear up as a result of my realization. I still don't entirely understand my reaction. I think that I was partially in shock of eating meat unexpectedly and partially disgusted with myself for enjoying it. That single bite of omelet, even though I never actually swallowed the ham, may have been the tastiest of the entire meal.
     I don't want to think about the happy food dance I involuntarily found myself doing. I've always known that I still like the taste of meat. I've told my carnivorous friends this when they ask me about my vegetarianism. On many an occasion I've said something along the lines of, "I'm sure that I would love that, but I just choose not to eat it." Still, I guess I thought that enough time had passed for my taste buds to have changed accordingly with my worldview. Learning that I was wrong came as a real shock. Maybe that's why I cried too. Like I said, I still don't completely understand my reaction. I just...broke down.
      I'm not really proud of my reaction, but I'm not quite ashamed of it either. Being a vegetarian/vegan is important to me. Being healthy is important to me. Being able to look in the mirror and say "Day-umm" is extremely important to me. I wouldn't change my lifestyle choice for anything. So if that means that I accidentally turn on the water works when it is threatened...well then I guess I might need a couple extra napkins.