June 21, 2012
Getting a bad tip is like getting dumped. You almost never see it coming. You're left wondering, "What did I do wrong? What could I have done better? WHY DIDN'T THEY LOVE ME?" Luckily for me, this doesn't happen too often, but when it does (like today), it's like a suckerpunch to the gut. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt when they don't tip me properly (i.e. 20%) because I figure that they don't know how important tips are to a server. They don't realize that our minimum wage is about two dollars per hour, so tips are our lifeblood. I know that I was ignorant of this until I became a server, so I try not to blame the actual people but their lack of knowledge. I also do my best not to take a bad tip personally, although, for a self-sabotaging narcissist comme moi, that's easier said than done. I try to comfort myself by imagining that the bad tippers treat all of the commoners this way, and that I was just the latest in their string of miserliness. Additionally, I recognize the toll that the economic downturn has taken, and that we're all tightening our belts and purse strings. I really try to be understanding and see the customers' point of view, but sometimes, it isn't enough to reconcile my performance with their judgment.
So here's my idea on how to remedy the misunderstanding between patron and server. Because I feel like I'm constantly being graded on my personality, my intelligence, my efficiency, and my ability to speed walk without looking stupid, I'd love to be able to grade my customers as well. Your order was really complicated- B+. You didn't say thank you when I gave you any of your three drink refills- C-. You thought you knew the menu better than I did- C. You sat at my table forever, even after closing the check- D. You wanted seven different separate checks- B. You were under the age of eighteen- F. You guys were actually super fun and ordered a ton of drinks- A++. Of course, I can vent all I want on the internet, but this process, although therapeutic, lacks the cathartic aspect that direct interaction would have.
A tip has immediate repercussions, not only on my bank account but also on my self esteem. Like I said, getting a bad tip is like getting dumped because you start to question everything about yourself. You thought that you seemed personable and sweet, but maybe you were just annoyingly perky and too eager to please. You got their drink orders quickly enough, but they did seem to be twiddling their thumbs waiting for their appetizer. You had to be prompted for one refill, even though the rest of the time guest hydration was your top priority. You did everything perfectly, but that still didn't seem to merit anything more than a 10% tip. You never know how things will play (and pay) out until the game is already over. You've either hit a home run or struck out completely. And you were playing catcher.
The unpredictability of tips just comes with the server territory. However, while I'm listlessly claiming my kingdom of laminate tables, I always hope that my tenants are those with deep pockets and generous fingers.
These dirty plates aren't the only thing that's a hot mess. #servergirlstruggz
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