One of the things that I've come to realize about myself is that I say/tweet some pretty messed up/interesting/funny things. So I'm just going to list them and then leave them here. Most likely, this will be in the order of most recent quotes because that's what I can best remember.
1. He needs a reality check right in the balls.
2. I am Helen Keller walking on a tightrope.
3. Last night, I had a dream where someone gave me cereal with mushrooms in it. Now, I love mushrooms but that is just not okay.
4. I could go for a modernist carrot right about now.
5. I wonder what I'm going to do once my life stops being a lifetime movie.
6. The salad dressing selection at my house sucks.
7. We'll never be happy or satisfied until...we are?
8. Sadface emoticon is not a satisfactory explanation.
9. I just want to see the pictures where he's fat!
10. Is that what those are called? Dirty pleasures?
11. Can you hand me the other Vera Bradley wallet? It's underneath the matzo.
12. No one seems to understand my wrap needs this week.
13. You shouldn't have more than one guy...unless, of course, you're us.
14. I spend half of my day being a fake person on purpose, and the other half of my day being a fake person on accident.
Not to rain on your quotable parade, but I'm fairly certain I said #13. :]]] but on the other hand, I'm proud that I witnessed at least half of these.
ReplyDeleteNo, I definitely said it because you tweeted it. I can remind you of the context...but at a different place and time. You're pretty quotable too though so I think you should start a quotable post on your blog as well. I'm just saying...
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