#servergirlstruggz -- Call Me Maybe

June 10, 2012


     Today, I got asked out via check. I thought this awkwardly romantic shit only happened in movies, but apparently, that is what my life has become. My immediate reaction upon finding the folded up receipt (as well as the 30% tip) was one of mild shock and horror. I didn't deal well with the unsolicited affection. I wasn't looking for a relationship, or even just a date. I was leaving in three months for a semester abroad in Europe, and I had just recently been forced out of a relationship because of an expiration date. I was still hung up on him. I wasn't looking for anyone else when I already kinda sorta had (but didn't have) the person I wanted. Already damaged goods, I could not, and therefore would not, do that to my heart again. Even a self-saboteur like myself knows her limits. 
     And, if I'm honest with myself, a big reason why I was flattered but not interested was that I did not find the sender sexually attractive. I know that that makes me a shallow person, but I wasn't interested in any intellectual connection that might redeem his otherwise unappealing (t0 me) visage. A physical connection, which was much more my style at the time, was out of the question. Since that was all I wanted, and that was all he could not provide, I stuffed the incriminating paper into my checkbook, letting the blue ink burn a hole through the black vinyl. 
     I still haven't made a final decision on how I will extricate myself from this delicate situation. Should I just let the matter go or at least send an easy letdown text? Some advice would be very much appreciated and very seriously considered. 


The dirty plates aren't the only thing that's a hot mess. #servergirlstruggz