June 22, 2012
I love and hate Friday and Saturday nights. I love them because around seven p.m., the line is usually out the door, tables turn over quickly, and the tips just pour in. It's a great time to make money, if you don't have a life, which, at the moment, I don't. However, despite the increased financial potential of weekend evenings, I hate working these nights because they are both, inevitably, date night. It's not even that I'm #bitter (although, let's be honest, I totally am), it's that no one wants to be the awkward third wheel, especially on a first date. However, as a server, I am reluctantly and repeatedly forced into this position.
My tricycle role was made even more awkward tonight when I was serving a middle-aged couple. Usually, I love middle-aged couples because I assume that they're married and that this is their special date night. For a hopeless romantic like myself, I think it's really sweet and cute to witness married people who still want to be seen together in public. That, to me, seems like eternal love. So, when I sauntered merrily (because as a waitress, I don't walk; I either lean, sprint, or saunter) over to this couple, I thought that I was in for a run of the mill married date. I placed the cardboard coasters advertising our strawberry lemonade on the table and launched into my standard introduction. I had barely gotten through saying my name when the man asked me if I could get his date to "pucker up" for him, referencing the use of that word on our coasters. (It's something to do with the sweet and sour balance of our lemonade. I don't know for sure because I've never cared enough to read them.) It was at that moment that I realized that this wasn't any ordinary date. Oh, how I was right. I quickly learned that not only was this couple not married, but that they weren't even in a relationship yet. And already, I had been put on the spot with the man's unusual request.
Never have I been more thankful for my ability to talk and smile my way out of anything. Grinning and laughing, I told him that it was up to her, but that I would do everything in my limited power as their server to help him seal the deal. He then went on to say that if it happened, it would be their first kiss. The woman, slightly upset that he was only telling their waitress half of their life story, then stated (for the record) that they had known each other for years. Now, as adorably awkward as these dual admissions were, I really just wanted to take their order and take my leave. Thankfully, after this elongated introduction, they finally told me what they wanted to eat and drink, the only parts of their lives I didn't know about by this point.
Keeping up my personable nature, I had a few more joking interactions with them as I dropped off their drinks and food. However, for the most part, I made myself scarce. I do this as a courtesy to all of my lovebirds, as well as a sanity saver for myself. Still, this couple was different for me. I actually...cared about them. From the brief time we spent together, despite how uncomfortable it had made me, I decided that I liked them. From the creeping I did on their table, I saw that he was making her laugh. He was winning her over. She had had him from the get go. They were good for each other. As I picked up the check, I told them that I was rooting for them. I said it jokingly, but behind my sweet laughter was a real note of sincerity. I really hoped that, by the end of the night, she treated him like strawberry lemonade.
These dirty plates aren't the only thing that's a hot mess. #servergirlstruggz
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